Inconclusive Evidence: Buffs tee off, New tags for the truck, & Paulus leaves

As a Cornhusker fan--and a huge fan of college football in general--I'm constantly coming down with cases of rivalry envy. It's most difficult in November when Pitt and West Virginia are brawling, Georgia and Georgia Tech are clean, old-fashioned hating, and Arizona and Arizona State are desert dueling.

Around that time of year, Nebraska makes due with Colorado. Bill McCartney made the annual game against the Huskers his program's "red letter game" and the Big 12 made it an annual post-Thanksgiving affair but that only seemed to heighten Nebraskan's awareness that Colorado, even when they're better than NU, still isn't Oklahoma. It's not about competitiveness, it's about history and the history simply isn't as strong with the Buffs as it is with the Sooners.

Yesterday's news out of the Colorado National Golf Club, however, was a step in the right direction.

Golfers at the new home of the CU golf team will be able to take shots at a Nebraska themed range ball picker. It was Dan Hawkins idea and, before you can say "but they're not a rival" or point out the 45-18 edge in wins or watch Alex Henery's kick for the 2387th time, just realize that this is exactly what makes college football great. You'd never see this sort of jocular gamesmanship in the pros but in the college game it's almost required.

Many people were up in arms over Texas listing themselves as 2008 Big 12 Champions* on the wall of their football offices. I thought it was hilarious. Even funnier was Oklahoma passing out Longhorn stickers for "less than zero" effort in spring practices. The move to take some shots at Nebraska at CNGC--and the course does look beautiful--isn't embarrassing or pathetic, it's just sporting and the only thing to do when faced with such a clear call to arms is respond.

The appropriate response here seems pretty clear: kidnap Ralphie. Back in the good old days of freshmen beanies and letter sweaters this sort of thing used to happen all the time. Bevo allegedly got his name after being kidnapped and branded by some A&M students. If the Aggies can steal something that weighs a ton with five feet of Horns, I would think that Nebraska could manage Ralphie, who weighs in at a relatively slight 450 lbs. Even better, we can launch the offensive from the Panhandle Research & Extension Center located in Scottsbluff, a convenient few hours drive from Boulder.

While I appreciate Hawkin's move, I'll be damned if I'm going to be outdone by it. I honestly can't think of a better summer job than being able to drive that range-ball picker as a Nebraska fan, to hear the Buffs fans frustration ping out all day long as you drove a glorified lawn mower. Give me a "Hail Varsity" horn on it and not only would I do it, I'd show up every day dressed like Herbie Husker.

As long as it's not the meadowlark - It's time again, Nebraskans, to select a new license plate design. I feel like we did a pretty good job of this last time, going to the state outline and slightly outdated font after the horrible tequila sunrise years. This crop of new tags doesn't offer anything jaw-dropping--I favor the "Good Life" design--but that just makes me more convinced that we should just drop the pretenses and go with a Husker themed plate. No, not a special plate that you can pay extra for, but just the standard issue plate that represents Nebraska's best foot forward: college football. If you're an alumni of another school living in Nebraska, too bad. You're getting a Huskers plate.

College football is an arms race. You got 80k for your spring game? We'll get 95k. You have an 87-foot jumbotron? We'll get a 100-foot screen. But in this case there's value in striking preemptively. While you can get Iowa Hawkeyes, Florida Gators, Georgia Bulldogs and any number of other schools on your special issue license plates, no state has yet incorporated a University mark into the general design so why not be the first? Some will say it's a reflection of misguided passion. Others will say it's an indication of how little else there is to do but I'll just say that it's a clear indication of how much more football means to Nebraskans than everyone else.

Of course, that insider supposition isn't any more true than the outsider suppositions--they're both faulty--but most people are making those arguments anyway so why not give everyone a platform for supporting their argument?

Besdies, the Western Meadowlark is the state bird of five other states. What's unique about that?

Gritty, gutty Greg Paulus - Here's the extent of what we know about the former Duke point guard's visit to Nebraska: he came and he left. Here's what I want to know:

At any point during his tour of Memorial Stadium did he bend down in a good defensive stance and slap the turf? If so, I think we got him.