Football Festivus Begins
Every now and again a new holiday is born. In 1983 for example, Martin Luther King Jr. Day was signed into law and now many of us enjoy a day off every year. Pop culture also brought us Chrismukkah (The O.C.) and Festivus (Seinfeld). While perhaps still in need of a working title, these five straight days of games ending on Labor Day feel like a grand holiday festival for those of us who have waited 8 long months for meaningful college football. As with all great holidays, there are traditions.
Football Festivus Dinner(s)
Eating badly and drinking to excess is a hallmark of any great holiday. What would Thanksgiving be without it? If we're going to sit staring at a screen (or in the stands) for hours on end, we darned well ought to be stuffing our face with some combination of salt, fat, or sugar. This is America, after all.
Airing of the Grievances
Johnny Manziel gets suspended for a half? A half?! It's not like he was going to play more than that anyway. It would be poetic justice if Rice shot out to a big lead in the first half and then held on to beat Texas A&M.
Feats of Strength
Those 12-packs aren't going to carry themselves. Fill the cooler with ice and you've got yourself a test worthy of any man. Meanwhile, watch to see if anyone can block Jadeveon Clowney tonight.
A Festivus Miracle?
Could Virginia Tech pull an upset over Alabama? How about Ohio over Louisville? Could Georgia and Clemson play into triple overtime? With so many games there are bound to be surprises, and perhaps even glorious football miracles.
A Home (Game) for the Holidays
Nebraska's opener in Memorial Stadium with Wyoming on Saturday night is still the main event. If you can't be home this year, the Big Ten Network is the next best thing. God bless us everyone.