The Shelf of Shame
15 comments so far
June 15, 2009 by
The objects of our lives tell stories. They harbor experiences, provide memories and give us perspective. This is especially true with sports fans. With sincere apologies to Tim O'Brien (one of the finest writers of our time) I offer this look at the things we carry and the funny bit of sports anthropology that comes with them. I have dozens of Husker related items that I have kept over the years, each of them important for its own reason. T-shirts to ticket stubs, blankets to golf balls, they all matter. That's one of the awesome things about sports fanatics - everything matters. But, there are some rare items that really show the depth of my caring. They are the embarrassing things (found or purchased with only the best intentions) that should have discarded. Instead, I'm sick enough to keep them in a special place - the Shelf of Shame.
Say Cheese
Smack in the middle of the Shelf, you will find a genuinely scary picture. It's a photo of me with ... Steve Pederson.
It's disgusting to look at now. But, at the time, it really was something great.
I was outside of Memorial Stadium on a spectacular Spring day, full of optimism. Both my daughter and this website had been born not long before. And, the Huskers were coming off of an Alamo Bowl victory to end the 2005 season. Life was pretty darn good.
A buddy of mine and I were going to the Spring game, and as we approached the stadium, there stood the head honcho himself. He was nice enough to pose for a picture with us, which was kind of cool, since he probably had more important things to do that day.
At the time I remember looking at his smile and thinking, "Wow, that is one cheesy guy." Now, looking at it with fresh eyes, the man appears more like a smiling cobra than a cheesy salesman. Maybe he was both. Maybe I should get rid of the picture. But then I wouldn't have a spectacular way to recall what was probably the high point of one ill fated chapter in Husker history.
Hey, It Was Free
Next, there is no easy way to say this. So, I'll just come right out with it. I have a replica mini-helmet signed by Bill Callahan. The shame...the shame...I know. In my defense, it was actually a gift. I received it as recognition for some fund raising I had done for a charitable organization. Again, at the time I received it, things were not horrible for Nebraska. Far from it, really. They were coming off of the North division title in 2006, and things were looking up.
Total honesty - I've actually tried to give this thing away. I have a friend, Tony, who was on the "fire Callahan" bandwagon WAY before anyone else was, like in the middle of the guy's first season with NU. At the time, I mocked him and I shouldn't have. Anyway, one time I tried to "reward" Tony for his remarkable foresight in to the abilities of Mr. Callahan by giving him the helmet as a gift. He didn't take it. In fact, he unceremoniously left it on top of our china hutch. So, now it rests firmly on my Shelf of Shame, maybe forever.
Do you think I should try to get Bo Pelini to sign it? Or would the thought of having his name within inches of his predecessor's signature be too much for him? I don't think I want to risk that man's rath.
View To A Heisman?
Because we are members of the Football Writers Association of America (woot!), members of the BRN staff get a lot of mail from fine NCAA institutions and other interested parties. I've gotten key chains from the Rose Bowl, Wisconsin badger themed Christmas cards, a spring football preview from Rutgers and scads of other interesting (or worthless) items. It really is something. The marketing materials for awards candidates, particularly the Heisman, are the best really. I'm telling you all of this to justify my next Shelf of Shame object.
I kept the now infamous Chase Daniel-themed "Missou's view to a Heisman" viewfinder. It sits among my Husker items to remind me of two things. 1) That there are shameful objects for other schools too. After all, there has to be an MU fan who clung to one of those. and 2) Perhaps more poignantly, it is a reminder that my Huskers were humbled (not once, but twice) by a short, chubby, un-draftable quarterback who could have passed for a pizza delivery guy. It's a reminder to stay humble. It's shameful really. That's the point of the Shelf, I guess.
What are the artifacts of your fanhood?
Now, I ask you fellow Huskers to take inventory of your fanhood. It's summer. You've got extra time. What items do you have that hold significant importance or spark certain memories? It could be a "Hall of Fame" item, like the original Scoring Explosion poster featuring Rozier, Fryar and Gill. Or, maybe you have certain things that belong on the Shelf of Shame.
Anyone out there still have the keys to Broderick Thomas' "house" at Memorial Stadium? Brutal. Maybe you bought a sweatshirt celebrating the 1991 Orange Bowl...right before the Huskers got shut out by Miami. Are you the proud owner of a commemorative program from the 2001 Rose Bowl?
Those are the artifacts of Husker lore, good, bad, or ugly. The fact that you have them says a lot about you - about all of us - as fans. So, what have you got, folks?
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Ty Hughes Jun 15 09
My biggest regret was not paying enough attention when standing in line at the civic one day for autographs on my husker football. During a moment of indiscretion, I failed to see my hallowed football passed to Thunder Collins who at the time sported a Cleveland Browns jersey. I'm still taking suggestions for how to remove a permanent marker signature...anyone? anyone?
Joe S Jun 15 09
While attending the first ever Big XII title game against Texas, during halftime I rushed to buy a commemorative championship game Tshirt. Back then Texas was still fairly mediocre and Nebraska was, well Nebraska. Everybody assumed we'd win that game, but James Brown was lights out and we lost.
That shirt ended up in the trash can on the way out of the stadium along with thousands of others discared by Husker fans, to the glee of Texas fans.
Wonder if anyone kept theirs?
darren Jun 15 09
Ty and Joe - nice offerings.
I'm trying to figure which is worse, the "stain" of a signature from a disgraced former player or having spent money to celebrate a non-title in the making.
They both suck, but for such wildly different reasons.
MP Jun 15 09
Not sure why but I still have a six pack of Coor's light (unopened) with Herbie Husker and other NU info on it.
I can understand the deal with the football. I had T.O. and Frank sign a championship football for me at an event. Bill Byrne was standing right there when I turned from Frank with the ball in my hand. We made eye contact, no one was in line waiting for his signature. We shook hands, I returned to my seat. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings, but I only wanted coaches on there!@!!@
Tyson Jun 15 09
I have a husker T-shirt with a corn cob covered by a "trojan" condom on the front... and on the back its says: The Only Trojan we want to Break! Even though we got killed by USC and Callahan called plays like a midget footbal coach (no offense to any coaches). I still keep the shirt for a simple laugh every once and a while.
qualuedtke Jun 15 09
My artifact of husker lore is a good one. My Big 12 champions ballcap from the 1999 season. Long ago put away, in storage, not to be worn because it seemed soooo long ago. But after a new head coach, a new atmosphere, a good season, and a long winter, it was resurrected, cleaned up, and worn proudly to this years spring game. Hope springs eternal.
Husker Mike Jun 15 09
My wife made me take down the picture of her and Bill Callahan from the first "Football 101" after the 2007 season.
Mase Jun 15 09
I caught Adam Carriker's play-calling wristband when he threw it in the crowd after the 2005 Alamo Bowl. I call that a sweat, I mean sweet, catch! That game was so awesome and it was cool to have a special keepsake from it (I can't stand Michigan). I also have a Nebraska football signed by Frank Solich...special thing here is it was a college graduation gift from some friends of mine at ISU of all places (maybe they felt bad he lost there). What made it most valuable was I graduated in December of...2003. I think it was signed maybe only a week or two before he got shown the door...it definitely still has a place on my shelf, and not for shame!
Brandon Jun 16 09
I submit this t-shirt featuring Herbie in board shorts and sunglasses with an orange occupying the usual football spot under his arm, proudly proclaiming Nebraska the "University of Nebraska at Miami."
Nevermind that, in the 80s when this shirt was likely made, Nebraska went 1-3 in Miami. Details.
Jeremy Jun 16 09
I have a Husker ball cap signed by Bill Callahan. I won it at a silent auction before the 2004 season. I was very optimistic about his hiring at the time. Oops! I thought about burning it a couple of times since then. However, I've decided to keep it because, like it or not, it is Husker history and it reminds me to stay humble.
I also have a # 1 Lawrence Phillips jersey. I got it back in 1994 when I was at school at UNL. It doesn't have his name on it but I wore it to an Iowa State game in Ames a few years ago and was taunted with chants of Lawrence!-Lawrence! I still wear it with pride because the Huskers are #1 with me and shame at the same time because that
number will always be associated with Phillips.
Otter Jun 16 09
I was the "buddy" in the picture with Darren and Stevie P.
Steve stole my wallet while I wasn't looking, and then he punched me in the stomach and took my camera.
Huskerfan13 Jun 24 09
I'm 13 and just starting my collection of husker items. As a girl, I already get sh$$ from the Cufans at school ( moved to Colorado) yet my most prized posetion remains the bright red t-shirt that clearly states beating Colorado on the front, and so simple a caveman can do it on the back.
Huskerfan13 Jun 24 09
I'm 13 and just starting my collection of husker items. As a girl, I already get sh$$ from the Cufans at school ( moved to Colorado) yet my most prized posetion remains the bright red t-shirt that clearly states beating Colorado on the front, and so simple a caveman can do it on the back.
Huskerfan13 Jun 24 09
I'm 13 and just starting my collection of husker items. As a girl, I already get sh$$ from the Cufans at school ( moved to Colorado) yet my most prized posetion remains the bright red t-shirt that clearly states beating Colorado on the front, and so simple a caveman can do it on the back.
twolff Jun 27 09
my wife gave me a Callahan coin...it lays way back in my Husker Shrine...upside-down