A Semi-Serious Discussion of the Bo Pelini Polka

2 comments so far August 5, 2008 by Brandon Vogel

There were really only two responses when CornNation unearthed George Dare’s “Bo Pelini Polka� last month:

1) This is the worst song I’ve ever heard.

2) Hey! Look at that! Nebraska already has a song for Bo Pelini and it’s a polka. It’s the worst song I’ve ever heard.

But neither of the above is an appropriate response to a polka song written by a native Nebraskan about the head coach of the Cornhuskers because that very notion should be just about the best thing we’ve ever heard. In theory, it's certainly the most Nebraskan.

The venerable New York Times doesn’t spend a lot of time in the Cornhusker state but they’ve visited twice in the past year for serious features and their subject matter should tell you a lot about where Nebraska makes it s cultural hay.

Last February the NYT sent Joe Drape to compare Pelini’s “getting to know you� tour of the state to a tent revival. A few months prior, they had sent Ben Ratliff to detail the rapidly aging polka scene.

For the Upper East Side resident who knows nothing else about the Good Life that might be it. Nebraska is polka and football. Put it on a t-shirt. That’s overly simplistic but you could easily find worse descriptions of the state and that’s why the “Bo Pelini Polka� in its current iteration hurts so much. It should be fail-proof.

We all know the popularity of football in Nebraska, but what about polka? At present the most popular polka show on television and the largest mail order business for the music come straight out of Omaha and you have Big Joe Siedlik to thank for both of those. If you’re in the neighborhood of Columbus you can still hear polka on the radio every Saturday morning and the Six Fat Dutchmen, polka royalty out of New Ulm, Minnesota, had a 26-year run performing at the Nebraska State Fair. Polka, in all its regional forms, is the music of Central and Eastern European immigrants and Nebraska is chock full of them. It’s Midwestern music. It’s our music.

For all of the above reasons, I was excited by the prospect of a “Bo Pelini Polka.� If Miners fans wanted to write a song about UTEP coach Mike Price it should be a narcocorrido, if Vandy fans wanted to laud Bobby Johnson in song they’d get one of a thousand writers to craft a cheesy modern country song and if Nebraska wanted to pay tribute to Bo Pelini they would give him a polka.

The problem is that we got a parody of polka. Electronic instruments, wacky sound effects, an unforgivable eastern European accent, Dare’s song is a lot of things but it isn’t polka. Real polka is about serious societal issues like the fact that “In Heaven There is No Beer� and that “There is a Tavern in the Town� which is unfortunate because when you’re in town, at the tavern, you’re not at home handling your wedded business. Deep.

The “Bo Pelini Polka� could’ve been all of those things. What’s direr here in early August than linebacker depth, padded practices or position battles? All provide ample inspiration for a serious, well-crafted, modern day polka song about Nebraska football and it all would’ve been better than “Yo-ho-ho, Bo Pelini, Go.�

I know I’m fighting an uphill battle here but if you can’t be proud of where you’re from then what can you be proud of? I doubt many Nebraska football fans will cop to being polka fans but that’s the lone bright spot to come out of the “Bo Pelini Polka�.

Because it’s no good, it won’t be popular so there’s still plenty of room on the bandwagon. Omaha hipsters, you can ironically like polka and go to dances at the Starlite Ballroom and it will be cool. No one is doing that yet. Small-town farm kids, listen to your grandparents and visit a Czech festival. Dance a few songs and they’ll be slipping you beers all night. There is no downside

Nebraska football and polka, it could be, should be, a match made in heaven...where there is no beer.

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