Tigers March Proudly Into Meeting With Nebraska
8 comments so far
October 5, 2007 by
From time to time, the Big Red Network will publish “Onion”-style satire. We apologize in advance to anyone we may offend, it's all meant as harmless fun. We can assure you, the reader, that no animals were harmed in assembling this piece.
The Missouri Tigers have been outspokenly confident going into their meeting with Nebraska. Missouri safety Cornelius “Pig” Brown stated boldly, “We need to beat them by three touchdowns or more.” The Tigers bravado reminded one fan of another proud group of upstarts, the Gay Liberation Front.
“I had this déjà vu feeling when I heard Brown’s remarks, and then it hit me, these courageous youngsters are like participants in a gay pride parade,” said the long-time Missouri fan and former New Yorker. “They aren’t afraid to say what’s on their mind, even if some people don’t like what they have to say”.
Missouri head coach Gary Pinkel declined to comment on the fan’s remarks, along with every member of the football team, the athletic department staff and the University administration. Nevertheless, the fan echoed his unwavering support, “I know I’ll be just as proud of the Tigers when they March into Faurot Field as I was watching the GLF in Greenwich Village back in 1970. There’s no difference between the two in my mind”.
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Rip Torn Oct 05 07
If someone was "gay" and an NU fan, would they be less of a fan or less of a person? Just curious.
Rip Torn Oct 05 07
Hey Silly, If someone is gay and a Nebraska fan, would that make them any less of a fan or a person? Just curious.
James Moore Oct 05 07
As they say in New York, bananas!!! I thought this article was funny as hell. Keep the weekly onions coming!!!
ze Oct 05 07
Ooooooo, kitty gots claws....!
Steve Oct 05 07
(Sigh)
The sign of really good humor is when you have to parse it for your audience, just like you know you're in for fine cuisine when you see a sign saying "our drive thru is open extra late".
OK Rip. Let's do a little comic theory 101. It's been said that every joke is simply the joining of two ideas. In this case we see a gay pride parade joined with a trash-talking Missouri safety. I think the two are dissimilar enough that on the surface that might spark a chuckle.
Others have said that real comedy reveals a truth, maybe even a truth we're uncomfortable with. Both explicitly and implicitly, the piece implies that Midwesterners and football players are homophobic. An unfair generalization? Maybe, but I think one that most of us would recognize as having some truth as well.
Like the dentist on Seinfeld who may have switched to Judaism for the jokes, I feel I have some license to make generalizations about the Midwest, because I lived there most of my life.
Add to that some irony. That while this Missouri fan is seeking to praise his team, our expectation of their discomfort with his remarks means that he's failing miserably in boosting their spirits. Does that mean I'm unfairly characterizing Missouri fans as miserable failures? Perhaps. But the Missouri team I've watched for most of the last 30 years has been just that, a miserable failure. So again, that element of revealed truth comes back again.
Here endeth the lesson...
doombob Oct 05 07
Your post was longer than the article. Bravo.
Dee Oct 07 07
"But the Missouri team I've watched for most of the last 30 years has been just that, a miserable failure. So again, that element of revealed truth comes back again."
Sort of like how Nebraska has played since Coach "O" left the Huskers? Nebraska was dominated in every way last night and experienced their WORST loss in school history since 1958. Not since 1958 has a Nebraska team FAILED to score a touchdown on their opponents. I think the era of "BIG RED" has closed. No more backing into the Big XII Championship because other teams have faltered -- you have to earn it now.
Brent Oct 07 07
Miserable Failure = Nebraska Cornfailures attempting to look better then the local high school football teams. Now that's funny.