Huskers Suffering From Extreme Blowout Dysfunction
8 comments so far
July 20, 2007 by
Editor's Note: This comment from Doombob, a loyal BRN reader and frequent commenter, was too good not to repost. Enjoy.
I would like to take this chance to tell everyone about a particular problem Nebraska has been having the last few years. It's called E.B.D. or Extreme Blowout Dysfunction.
The Huskers have not scored more than 60 points or thrashed their opponents by more than 60 since the year 2000. People can say "It happens to everyone" or "Maybe you were just tired that night", but there is a cure! Recently discovered herbal supplements from the deep reaches of the Amazon rain forest (called EucaLuckyptus extract) make up a part of this wonder drug.
EKellernacea is one of the latest discoveries that also make this possible! It would be Ruud not to mention the Defensive side-affects may include backside discomfort, but you shouldn't worry about your Saftey. This product will be on the market on Sept 1 of this year! We are hoping to have a Purified extract available on Sept 15 as long as we meet all legal requirements...
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Ragnulf Jul 20 07
If all else fails, try some Callahanoevera gell!
ze robertinho Jul 20 07
We scored 56, 49, 56 against preseason patsies last year, rather methodically like the olden days. I think we scored 59 vs W. Kentucky in '04('05 ?).
I guess the next step--sign of progress--will be to start blowing out some of the conference regulars. But it will be discounted by the many who observe the Big XII North as weak(of course the Big 8 was made up of power teams across the board, when we were blowing them out back then, right?).
Gregory Morrow Jul 20 07
The only recipe for blowouts is for both sides of the ball to dominate. For a genuine blowout, you've got to keep your opponent at 17 or under. You know what you have to do on offense.
That's what could happen, at some point this year. Like a devastating punching combo, (I don't watch much boxing anymore) the opponent is overwhelmed, demoralized, then out of it midway in the second quarter.
Then you see how well the young ones have picked up the offense and who the new aggressors on defense will be.
I've got a wild imagination, sometimes.
ze bop Jul 21 07
The Barefoot Healer's Apothecary Guide as applied to Big Red psychiatric disorders: now that's my kinda topic!
L'il ol' ze bop just happens to have some background in the herbal arts and will come up with some curative potions later, after thorough diagnosis........stay tuned.......
ze BOP Jul 21 07
Mr. flim(I will always know you as flim),
Word up, dawg!
So there is a noteworthy dirth of idiotic, pain in the a$$ trolls here on BRN--and that's a good thing. I have seen an occassional 'Mr. Spell Check/IQ Guy' here though, but those losers are on every website.
So here's the plan: YOU, secretly--somehow--notify the best and brightest from LITR--pacer, petes, JG, hoarse, nu4, Bry, etc.--of the cool stuff over here and get 'em to post and, 'viola', just like old times(especially when they get the real time going--yes it's coming)!
Whad'ya thay-nk?
ze robertinho Jul 21 07
flim,
Blogsite recruiting wars--how cool is that?!
(ze bop, pushin' the envelope!)
scott Jul 22 07
that was very well put and true to boot! let's hope these 'cures' are just what we need. restore the order, GO BIG RED!!!
ze the socialist Jul 22 07
As an aside on a related broader health issue:
Just got back from seeing the movie, 'Sicko'(Michael Moore).
SEE IT!
Universal health care: DEMAND IT!