Big XII Quarterback to Remain on Campus
In a surprising turn of events this week, Oklahoma State backup quarterback Al Pena announced his intention to remain in Stillwater. Cowboy head coach Mike Gundy was speechless at the news before saying, “When Al said he would be staying, quite frankly I couldn’t believe it”.
Big XII commissioner Kevin Weiberg placed the news in context, “We haven’t really seen this before in our conference. Most quarterbacks stay one year, maybe two, then they get the heck out. They all have their reasons. Rhett Bomar at Oklahoma was taking payoffs. Harrison Beck at Nebraska grew impatient that he wasn’t starting, and those three quarterbacks at Kansas State all had better things to do than to try and learn head coach Ron Prince’s new system. For a guy to voluntarily remain at quarterback, is puzzling.”
When asked why he would make such a bizarre move, Pena replied “injuries happen in college football all the time. I’m one snap away from starting.” “Plus,” Pena added, “I really like the academic program here at Oklahoma State – OK, I’m just kidding about that last part.”
Pena, a junior, is in line to become the longest tenured quarterback in conference history should he remain through fall camp, eclipsing former Nebraska quarterback and Stanford transfer Scott Frost.
One Oklahoma State official, who preferred to remain anonymous, shed some light on the news. “Pena’s girlfriend is smokin’ hot and she doesn’t want to move. Otherwise, he would have bolted last spring”.
From time to time, the Big Red Network will publish “Onion”-style satire. We apologize in advance to anyone we may offend, it's all meant as harmless fun. We can assure you, the reader, that no animals were harmed in assembling this piece.
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