UT Coach’s Wife Files for Divorce
From time to time, the Big Red Network will publish “Onion”-style satire. We apologize in advance to anyone we may offend, it's all meant as harmless fun. We can assure you, the reader, that no animals were harmed in assembling this piece.
It was announced this morning, through family friends that Sally Brown, wife of Mack Brown is filing for divorce. While officially, she is citing irreconcilable differences, the coach’s wife shared, “I just can’t take it anymore. I can’t look at that God-awful burnt orange one more minute”.
“You could spend eight years trying to come up with a worse color to look at, Lord knows I have, but you just can’t do it. It’s unsightly beyond words”, Brown said. She continued, “I thought I could take it, but the Rose Bowl win was the straw that broke the camel’s back. You can’t go anywhere in Austin now without being bombarded with it”.
Brown said she plans to move to Tallahassee near her sister, “Garnett and gold are colors I can get on board with.”
“Burnt orange is the color of our dog’s vomit after he eats his own feces”, she paused, “actually, that color is probably more appealing than the Texas school colors”.
» Enjoy this article?
Send it to your friend or get Husker news by email!
Post a comment