Souder Shot, Husker Fans Concerned
From time to time, the Big Red Network will publish “Onion”-style satire. We apologize in advance to anyone we may offend, it's all meant as harmless fun. We can assure you, the reader, that no animals were harmed in assembling this piece.
Former Nebraska linebacker Jeff Souder was shot in the leg and hip this week according to Omaha World Herald reports. While indications are that we will recover, Husker fans expressed concern.
Souder, who will be a sophomore at UNO after transferring from UNL following his freshman year, said he’s told that the shooting shouldn’t cause him any long term problems.
Fans expressed their concern at a local eatery frequented by Nebraska alumni.
“It’s unfortunate”, said one alum, “The guy could have been a two year starter for the Huskers if he just stayed in the program, to give that up to be a Maverick makes no sense”.
“It’s frightening”, said another alum, “Now the Huskers will only have two underclassman linebackers on scholarship in the fall so in a couple years they’ll be forced to start walk-ons or newbies”.
“I guess he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time”, one fan offered, “Ruud, Octavien, and Brandenburgh were all penciled in at the weak side linebacker spot for the next two seasons when he decided to transfer”.
“We’ve been keeping him in our prayers”, announced one couple, “we hope to God he changes his mind and comes back to UNL”
Jeff’s mother expressed gratitude for the outpouring of concern, “It’s nice that so many people in Nebraska care about our son”. She added, “but who gives a rat’s behind about football at a time like this, really people, get a clue”.
Photo: darthhusker.com
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