Husker Forum

1 comment so far May 26, 2006 by Steve Hanway

From time to time, the Big Red Network will publish “Onion”-style satire. We apologize in advance to anyone we may offend, it's all meant as harmless fun. We can assure you, the reader, that no animals were harmed in assembling this piece.

Welcome to the Husker Forum where we get answers to your Husker questions:

Dear Husker Forum,

Let me tell you about this hot steamy date I had with a stewardess, first she…[content deleted per board standards]

-Buck Naked

Dear Buck,

Not that kind of forum.

-BRN

Dear Husker Forum,

I know this isn’t technically a Husker question but I just have to get it off my chest. Most people don’t realize this, but Barry Bonds is about to pass Babe Ruth for second place on the all time major league home run list. What’s interesting is there are allegations that he may have been using steroids. What I don’t understand, is why no media outlets have picked up on this?

-Wondering

Dear Wondering,

You’re right, not really our area of expertise at the Big Red Network, so I’ve passed your comments along to a friend who works at ESPN. Here’s what he had to say, “We appreciate your interest, but we just don’t consider that newsworthy. So a guy takes over second place, what’s the big deal? I mean we might run a small story when it happens and maybe even mention the steroids angle. It’s not like anyone forgot Babe Ruth when Hank Aaron passed him. Also, it’s not like there aren’t a bunch of home run hitters linked to steroids in recent years (Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa to name two). We wouldn’t take up valuable air time during the NBA and NHL playoffs as well as all the baseball action, just to stir up controversy over such a non-issue.”

Dear Husker Forum,

What’s Nebraska’s number one recruiting need right now? Is it quarterback, safety, defensive tackle, linebacker or is it something else?

-Thinking Ahead

Dear Thinking,

Good question. That’s been of subject of great debate around our headquarters. After some debate (and several beers) the consensus seems to be that we’d like to see Nebraska recruit a cheerleader with huge cans. Thanks for asking.

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