Big XII Coaches Concerned By KSU Staff’s Extensive Experience
3 comments so far
May 5, 2006 by
From time to time, the Big Red Network will publish “Onion”-style satire. We apologize in advance to anyone we may offend, it's all meant as harmless fun. We can assure you, the reader, that no animals were harmed in assembling this piece.
Mack Brown and Bob Stoops each own national championship rings and a combined 4 Big XII championship rings, but whether they can add to those numbers is now in doubt with the hiring of Kansas State’s Ron Prince.
“This guy has seen it all. He was the offensive coordinator at the University of Virginia for 3 years”, said Brown, “you’re talking about a national powerhouse – no wait, that’s Virginia Tech”.
Iowa State head coach for the last decade, Dan McCarney raved about Prince’s creativity, “I can’t even count the number of times Virginia hung 50-plus points on a team”. McCarney paused, “wait, I probably can, let’s see there’s Akron, Western Michigan, and North Carolina, so three”.
Bill Callahan, a student of the West Coast offense and former NFL head coach, pointed out Prince’s deep immersion in the intricacies of the West Coast offense which KSU will reportedly run, “Ron spent two years coaching the offensive line at Virginia under none other than Bill Musgrave”. Musgrave, Prince’s predecessor as offensive coordinator was hired recently as a quarterback’s coach for the Atlanta Falcons. “When it comes to the West Coast offense, there’s Bill Musgrave and everybody else – geez, what was I thinking, I mean Bill Walsh and everyone else.”
Texas A&M head coach and 24-year head coaching veteran Dennis Franchione stated plainly, “the guy’s a proven winner, Oh, you’re talking about football? I thought you were talking about that basketball coach KSU hired out of Cincinnati”.
“It’s not just the head coach you worry about, it’s his assistants”, Stoops mentioned, “Their offensive coordinator, James Franklin, spent a year coaching wide receivers for the Seattle Seahawks and that’s a west coast team”. When told Franklin had actually coached the Green Bay Packer receivers Stoops added, “The Packers? God, they sucked last year!”
Texas Tech head coach Mike Leach, architect of the most prolific offense in the NCAA the past two seasons, remembered another new member of the KSU staff, “Scott Frost spent some time under Bill Walsh at Stanford. What? He’s coaching defense? Oh never mind."
Kansas head coach Mark Mangino, former recipient of the Frank Broyles award as the top assistant coach in college football, reminded, “Hey defense is what wins championships and their defensive coordinator was a defensive backs coach in Tampa Bay for two years. Oh, right, the assistant defensive backs coach, which means he probably mainly just got coffee and donuts for the real coach – but hey, he was in the room”.
While most of the so-called experts around the country have penciled in Kansas State as the Big XII conference champions the humble Prince demurred, “It’s a long season and anything could happen. There are some other pretty good coaches in the conference too.”
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Darren May 05 06
I don't know how the coaches in the Big 12 can face their days knowing KSU's staff has come from football powerhouses like Akron and Dartmouth. What an intimidation factor KSU has going for them. Will Callahan and others even be able to look across at the opposing sideline?
And, let's not forget how experienced these guys are! They have championship winning experience, right? Nothing is a safer bet than a proven winner. As an NU fan, I'm terrified.
Uncle Buck May 06 06
The only coach that compares to Prince is Frank "the tank" Solich. Both are offensive geniouses and both are quite large (if you know what I mean) Someday I would like to see Frank and Prince coach in the NFL, they would win like 10 super bowls and they would do it the "Nebraska Way" because if you remember, Prince is from Omaha.
Go Ron, you are so awesome!
John May 07 06
Hey Uncle Buck:
You don't know what you are talking about pal. Lets let the real Husker fans talk here OK? Thanx!